Non-Verbal
Communication Skills

Did you know the first five minutes of an interview are basically indelible. And it's very hard to get rid of a bad first impression. It's very difficult to erase that and start over.

Non-Verbal Communication
If your body language is apologetic -- if you lack eye contact, you don't extend your hand right away, you're really hesitant about where to sit, you're basically acting like you're taking up someone's time -- that will immediately set the tone that you don't have a whole lot to offer.

Being overly aggressive -- claiming too much space, having the volume of your voice too loud, not being able to sort of mirror and match what the environment is -- will also certainly work against you. So there's a balance that you have to strike.

Eye-contact
As a listener, you tend to make a great deal more eye contact. It's more appropriate as a listener to extend eye contact for longer periods of time.  As a speaker, it ends up being uncomfortable if you go much beyond about five seconds of eye contact. Because with five seconds of eye contact, you've made that connection. And then you almost have to break away. Otherwise, it becomes a stare-down. It becomes too intense.

Posture
Beware of arms crossed across the chest. Sometimes it's just a comfortable place to put your arms. But to an interviewer, it looks closed. It looks like you're being possibly judgmental or evaluating in a way that isn't appropriate. It basically says, "I'm really not very interested in continuing this interview."

When someone is very engaged, the natural posture is leaning in. You want to decrease the space between you and the interviewer. But you don't want to look too eager either. So you don't want to be on the edge of the seat, hanging on every word. Posture in general should be straight but not stiff. And you can have your legs crossed comfortably.

Facial expression
Stay neutral and positive. You need to study yourself in the mirror. And you may think that you're being neutral. But you look at your face, and it really looks like it's frowning.

A lot of people come up to us and say, "Smile!" or, "What's wrong with you today?" And that's because the nonverbal communication is saying something that maybe you're feeling. You want to create a neutral or positive look. It's neither happy nor sad. It's just intent and intelligent.

It certainly is appropriate to smile. But you need to decide whether you are going to smile with or without teeth. Remember, it can look almost smug if you don't show any teeth and the lips are together.

Handshake
The limp one says "I don't have any character, I'm not comfortable shaking hands, and I don't understand your culture." The bone crusher says "I'm trying to dominate. I'm trying to force my ideas. I'm trying to say a lot without using words." If you're shaking hands with an older person, the bone crusher is so inappropriate because it could be really painful. And if you're shaking hands with someone who's your equal, it almost becomes a competitive gesture.

The entire hand should be engaged, web to web, and kind of match the hand pressure of the other person. There are some people who have firm handshakes and you want to shake back just as firmly. And some people have weaker handshakes so you want a softer return. It shouldn't last longer than a "one, two, three." It's accompanied with a smile and eye contact. My suggestion is you look at someone until you note the color or their eyes. A handshake starts and ends a meeting.

Do you have an interview question you'd like answered?  Please forward an email to webcentral@nationalexecutivepersonnel.com.   I'll be more then happy to answer your question, or find the answer for you.

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